7 Stupid Questions to Stop Asking The Female Hikers and Backpackers In Your Life

I get it, stupid questions are part of the human experience, whether it be from people who are too lazy to google something for themselves, or perhaps they prefer to roll the verbal dice and choose not to think about what they’re saying before it pops out of their mouth. After all, we could all use a little more surprise in our life. What better way to accomplish that than by saying the first thing that comes to mind?

But seriously, if you spend any time in the outdoors, I’m going to bet you’ve been asked these questions before. Maybe from your well-meaning grandma who genuinely has no idea what backpacking even means. Or perhaps, the ever insidious Creepy Guy at a Gas Station who likes to “tell you how it is” despite never having been more than 10 miles from where he’s standing right now. Add to that the radical act of simply being a woman in this world, and I can all but guarantee you’ve been stopped either on the trail, or by someone in your daily life and confronted about the how, what, and why of your chosen hobby.

Below you’ll find the 7 most groan-inducing questions that the lady backpackers and hikers in your life are supremely tired of hearing.

1 – Are you doing this because of that movie Wild?

At the writing of this article, I’m pretty certain that everybody and their mom has seen Wild. And if you saw Wild and it inspired you to get outside and explore, or turn to nature as a means of healing, then I am by no means throwing shade. You do you, Boo.

This question is infuriating because it insinuates that we never would have gone outside if we hadn’t seen a movie about it first.

I find that most people who ask this question are trying to grasp the tiny sliver of information that they have associated with women hiking as a means to connect. When viewed against the scores of movies that feature men going out and tackling adventure, Wild stands very much alone against a backdrop of white able-bodied men. However, I have never met a woman who started hiking because she read or watched Wild. 

2 – You’re going out there by yourself?

Why yes, yes I am. This question falls into the “I don’t believe it’s safe for a woman to travel alone” lie that we’ve all been told by society. And if you’re really worried about my safety, then maybe start speaking up against a society in which men are told that hurting women is ok. Start speaking up about rape culture, slut shaming, and start asking why men are so broken internally that they feel the need to harm women, girls, and young boys. Here, this TED Talk is a good place to start:

3 – Do you carry a gun?

What? Jesus, no! I do not now, nor have I ever carried a gun, a giant knife, pepper spray, or another form of protection. Only once in a very specific situation I carried bear spray, and the insinuation that I need protection while traveling in nature is a tad disturbing.

The biggest reason for this is that I’m not planning on shooting wild animals. Why? Because they’re not very likely to attack me. The second reason is that in the backcountry I’m relatively safe from other people. Real talk, the biggest danger in my daily life are regular people. And beyond the obvious logic of it all, not all National Parks and protected Wilderness areas allow guns, either for carry or for hunting.

While I personally do not carry a weapon on me, some women elect to. That’s their right. Still, don’t go around asking people this.

4 – Aren’t you too old/young/brown/small/female/fat/weak to handle backpacking or hiking?

This is a terribly rude and offensive thing to ask someone. What the fuck are you thinking?

This question translates to: you don’t look like the kind of person I expect to be in the outdoors, so I’m going to tell you that you don’t fit into the stereotype of “outdoorsy people” I’ve built in my mind.

Fuck these people, nature is for everybody. If somebody asks you this, kick them in the shins and walk away. You don’t need those people in your life.

5 – Are your parents ok with this? What about your boyfriend/husband/SO?

This question is belittling and insulting on a number of levels, to which I’ve created a small script you can recite to the next person who asks you this:
“I am an independent adult woman, which means that I am not the property of, nor beholden to, anyone else. What I choose to do with my time is not subject to the approval of my parents or partner.” Enough said. And if they protest, then kick them in the shins and walk away. You don’t need these people in your life either.

6 – What about bears?

What about them?  Have I seen bears? Yes. Normally I see their big furry butts as they’re running away from me. Because humans are freaky scary creatures with a habit of killing bears and encroaching into their territories in noisy ways. Bears are scared of you, and any bear that isn’t has been removed from the North American gene pool years ago.

What this question means in reality is “I’ve heard about bear attacks and I’m scared and you should be scared too, and if you’re not your dumb.” Typically this question comes from people who are both afraid and deeply uniformed about bears in North America. We call this ignorance.

In the last 20 years there have been 25 fatal black bear attacks in North America, the majority of which have taken place in Canada and Alaska. This works out to about 1.25 attacks each year. Compared to the number of people going backpacking or hiking this works out to a .00000003% chance of being attacked by a bear each year. Want a really scary fact? In 2015, 1.6 of every 1,000 people in America were raped or sexually assaulted. So let’s give the bears a break and worry about the real issues we all face in society.

7- Why?

I honestly don’t know what people are hoping to gain from this questions. Why do people do anything? For many women, getting out in nature is a deeply personal, sacred thing. A better question is “tell me what you love about backpacking.” But if you’re just going to ask “why” with mouth agape, don’t be surprised if the lady you’re asking says “why not?” and walks away.

And if you want to know more about our hiking experiences ask us about our favorite trails and why, what is the best season to get out in, or perhaps when we first realized how delightful and challenging and freeing exploring our wild places can be.

I’m not here to put a stop to you asking questions, every outdoors person I know would love the opportunity to talk more about their passion for the outdoors. What we’re all getting sick of is people trying to impose their own worries and misunderstandings on us instead of trying for understanding.