New Zealand part 9 – Inside looking out

Content warning: brief mention of covid-19.

The irony of what I am looking at is not lost on me as I watch the ink bleed across the small strip of paper. Not ten minutes before Keith and I had argued about whether we needed to keep carrying around the bulky covid test kits we’d picked up on a whim in the Christchurch airport. I was in favor of ditching them having grown irritated at their constant presence in our luggage, seemingly always in the way and taking up more space than I felt they were worth. Keith, on the other side of the issue, thought they were worth it and that my current cold warranted me performing the nasal-swab hokey-pokey.

The astute of you will have no doubt surmised by now what that little strip of paper read. Still, I let Keith look over the test for himself, standing a long moment staring down at the desk before he turned to me. “Well, you have covid.” “Again,” I agreed.

After Keith performed his own partial lobotomy his test came up negative and we sat on the bed of our hostel, all rush to pack for an early departure the next morning forgotten. The four day backpacking circuit we were supposed to leave on abandoned. I had already been toying with the idea of skipping out given my current cold, but now both of us had to come up with new plans. The reliance on backcountry huts in New Zealand made it irresponsible for either of us to attempt the track. I was disappointed for Keith but only a little upset for myself

It’s like the coin flip trick. The one where you flip a coin not so much to make the choice for you but because it forces to the front any unresolved feelings about the decision. I had been waffling about heading out on this trail and now that my little covid coin flip told me I couldn’t I actually felt relieved. Relieved that I could just be tired without letting anyone down, relieved at all the effort I wouldn’t have to expend from a well that I worried was running increasingly empty. And besides, what could I do? Be angry at the proverbial universe? No, better to rest, replan and try again, just as soon as our self-isolation ended.